So here I am as I prepare to yet again embark on another dieting adventure. It sounds good when you put it like that doesn’t it, “an adventure”, it makes it sound like something fun is about to happen but who am I bloody kidding. I’ve been here before (many times), I know the drill. Its not going to be fun, its going to be tough and Im probably going to turn into a moody, miserable psycho woman over the upcoming weeks as I attempt to leave the sweets, chocolates, cakes and biscuits behind me (I really feel for my family). I know from experience that I will find myself desperately craving chocolate as if my life depends on it, so much so I will be prepared to sell my youngest child for a chocolate fix (Im joking by the way about selling my child, I would never do that!). I will probably drive my husband and family crazy and there will be times that I will cry about it like a baby but I know that I must not give into the temptation. Repeatedly I will keep telling myself how much chocolate, sweets, biscuits and cakes are evil knowing deep down that is a big fat lie and how heavenly each of those sugary sweet treats truly are.. But I must resist, I need to loose weight.
So my chosen method of weight loss this time around? Well I’ve opted for slimming world again as its the only diet I have tried in the past that I’ve got along with and that has actually ever given me any positive results. Also its not really a diet but a lifestyle change, changing my eating habits, eating the right things, although with a husband who only likes simple foods and three very fussy children I know only too well that a lifestyle change isn’t always that easy to implement but I will, I must!
Now as you have probably guessed Ive walked this path many times before, but unfortunately in the past my weight loss journeys haven’t gone to plan, in fact they are usually an epic failure and I end up falling off the wagon as quickly as I got on it. Its been eight months since I attended my last meeting and looking back I could kick myself for not sticking with it knowing I could have lost a considerable amount of weight in that time, but I cant change the past. Trying not to sound like Im making excuses for myself but a combination of our landlord selling his house, our 4 year old son being in hospital very poorly with sepsis and then needing surgery in January this year, house hunting and the stress of getting a mortgage and buying a house and moving all combined together just literally pushed me over, I lost every ounce of willpower and when I get stressed the first thing I reach for is chocolate (lots of it), its my comfort food of choice and just like that all of the hard work and weight I lost was undone just like that, but not this time around. I need to do this, I want to do this. I need to do this for my health, my family and more importantly for myself. I want to be happy about my weight, I have been so unhappy for such a long time and I want to feel confident about who I am again.
So a little bit about myself:
Well I am Helene, I am 33 years old, a wife, mum of three boys (2,5,10) and I live here in the UK and I am ashamed to say that I am currently at the heaviest weight that I have ever been. At this current moment in time I am approx 23 1/2 stone, a size 26 and I absolutely bloody hate it. I am embarrassed, disgusted and in all honesty I hate myself for it, for allowing myself to do this to myself. I have no confidence, so much so I avoid being in or looking at photos of myself, I turn my head and look the other way when I walk past a mirror. I refuse to go on rides in fear of being too big and I avoid social events or gatherings with friends and acquaintances as I hate being the “FAT ONE” in the room as they are all nice and slim..I also HATE clothes shopping, I would love to be able to walk into any clothes shop and buy what ever I see, not rely on the likes of plus size clothing shops and online retailers.
Now I am not going to make excuses because the fact is I am the only person to blame here about my weight, I know that. I am also the only person who can change all of that and this is the reason for starting this blog along side re joining slimming world again. So on Wednesday 19th July 2017 my journey will begin as I return to group and re join Slimming World again. I have one hell of a long way to go in order to get to where I want to be and I wanted to document my journey, allow others to follow me as well as follow and support others on their weight loss journey too so please feel free to follow, comment and share.
No more excuses. I can do this. Bring it on.